A Heart in Two Places: Finding Your Anchor
Written by Heather Bromberg
As a native New Yorker, I moved to California for an idealistic job in another world, in and around the Yosemite wilderness.
I had anticipated staying for a short-term appointment and had no idea I’d be embarking on a multi-year journey. I’d left behind relatives and long-term friends to have an adventure, and as a very grounded, rooted, steady, earthy human this was uncharacteristic of my nature. I surprised myself.
Rural California was unforgiving at times; urban luxuries were few, natural disasters were many, and my resilience wavered. The once idealistic job ended, and I didn’t know what to do next. I was looking for structure and stability. How could I create that? I knew what it looked like before I lost my job. What did it look like now? I was seeking an anchor.
Maybe another job, a different living situation, or a relationship could provide this anchoring I was seeking. All those possibilities came and left. Poof. I was restless. Maybe I will move back to New York, where at least I have family? No, I wasn’t ready yet. There was something else in the Sierra Nevada to be learned, an intuitive sense told me. I felt my heart was in two places: New York (family, stability) and California (friends, adventure).
I started my search for deeper meaning in my life, reading books on Buddhist thought, practice, and ideology (check out When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron).
At the same time I was drawn to “deepen my yoga practice”, and Balanced Rock was offering a yoga teacher training on the 5-Elements of Yoga. I stepped into yet another world, it seemed among mystics that taught about earth, water, fire, air, and ether.
One instructor was quizzical in nature, never answering questions with certainty, but rather with awe and creative curiosity. Another instructor would listen to me in actual silence with no further words to add, instead it seemed they were being a witness to my process which made me feel both seen and heard. All the instructors inspired us to keep learning, that there is an endless abundance of learning and limitless possibilities in the unknown.
These teachers helped me experience a new way of thinking rooted in the yogic tradition. Our lead trainer, Paula Wild, wrote an inspiring article about harnessing the five elements as a means for adaptation to climate change here.
From the 2017 WildYoga Teacher Training
The following weeks would be a learning procession of breath work, philosophy, ethics, silent meditation, yoga postures and movements. I was learning tools and techniques to ground and center myself, to properly use the body I inhabited and to appreciate my body for the complex organism that it is as well as my mind and spirit.
I now had skills to anchor myself.
“What is the way I want to interact with the world inside of my mind and the world outside of my body?”
Then, the training ended, and I felt lost.
No more meetings. The community would scatter. And I started to have that creeping feeling of feeling restless again. Now, what is my anchor?
I am breath! I am movement! I am love! I am yoga! I am my whole body!
This to me felt anchoring. Something I’d have to remind myself daily in all aspects of life. What is the way I want to interact with the world inside of my mind and the world outside of my body? An ethical code in the 8-limbs of yoga.
Even with this reminder, part of my heart was still in New York with family. To home I went.
“My heart remains in two places: California and New York, yet I am able to be fully present and anchored right where I am, and for that I am grateful.”
A fast-paced lifestyle, everybody is stressed, I felt ungrounded and unsure. What is my anchor here? My family that had felt so stable was preparing to move to Florida, another family member had fallen sick, and yet another family member was very busy building her family. It just felt like I was back to me again, and instead of the restless, I realized, “what a great reminder for yoga…”
I came back to my breath, my body’s movement, showing up for practice nearly every day both internally and externally. I began teaching locally, developed a sangha (spiritual community), and here the learning continued. My studio had a Mysore room where Ashtanga yoga was available to teachers.
Every Tuesday and Thursday, I would show up with my practice book (check out Ashtanga Yoga: The Practice Manual by David Swenson) to learn more about my body, my breath, and see what other tidbits I could unlock in my mind. Additionally, I began to teach restorative yoga which helped me to slow down amongst a fast-paced culture. Focus on breath, spaciousness of time, and clearing my mind (check out Restorative Yoga for Life: A Relaxing Way to De-Stress, Re-Energize, and Find Balance by Gail Grossman).
What is my anchor? I am breath! I am love! I am! I can just be. These words would float into my mind during meditation or practice. These were the tools and skills I learned during my YTT.
My heart remains in two places: California and New York, yet I am able to be fully present and anchored right where I am, and for that I am grateful.
ANCHORING BREATH WORK PRACTICE
There is directional flow when inhaling and exhaling. Inhaling, one may think in and up, and exhaling, down and out. I learned that inhaling up into space can lead to anxiety, and exhaling down into the earth, can lead to depression. What if instead of breathing into anxiety and depression, we could instead inhale down into the anchor and exhale up into possibilities?
Try visualizing your breath’s directional flow with natural breathing. What are you noticing?
If you’re comfortable adding control of the breath, send your arms out wide with elbows softened down and palms up.
Inhale palms from floor level up to shoulder height then flip palms down toward the floor, lowering with the exhale.
Try this movement with breath repeatedly. Now, lets switch. Arms still out, palms up, exhale to lift and inhale to lower. Try this movement with breath repeatedly. What are you noticing?
GRATITUDE JOURNALING
Every night I pull out my journal to digest the events and feelings of my day. These writings take many twists and turns, yet I always end it with a list of gratitude. Here is an example of one night’s list:
I am grateful for my loving furry friend, Goldie
I am grateful to have family that I love, and they love me in return.
I am grateful to have a comfortable bed and roof over my head.
RESTORATIVE POSE - SUPTA BADDHA KONASANA
You’ll need a few props: a blanket, a flat rectangular bolster, and two (2) blocks.
Place the rectangular bolster flat.
Place your blanket squarely at the base of the bolster.
Sit on the blanket with your sit bones rooted down and your low back meeting the edge of the bolster.
Slowly roll your spine back and down onto the bolster, opening your chest, relaxing your arms.
Feet together and knees apart with a block underneath each thigh as a wedge to support your hips external rotation.
Finding a place for your hips to be comfortable and experiencing a stretch/release.
MEET HEATHER B.
Heather Bromberg is Balanced Rock’s Remote Operations Support and a WildYoga Advanced Studies Alum!
Heather has offered her expertise through many roles with Balanced Rock including Community Yoga Instructor, Guided Tours & Wilderness Guide, Program Assistant, Program Manager, Administrative Assistant, and now is working as Remote Operations Support from New York. Read her full bio here.