Hard Things
Written by Brieann Powell
Summer is time for family and fun.
Swimming in the mighty Merced with friends, trips to the High Sierras, and getaways to the beach. Time slows down and priorities adjust to the rhythm of nature. In this era of severe climate, while enjoying the good times of summer there is always that feeling of dread in the back of my mind waiting for the other shoe to drop.
On July 4, 2024, the weather forecast in the foothill community of Mariposa was getting more and more serious. 100-110 degrees Fahrenheit for 10 consecutive days with lows in the upper 70s. Red flag fire conditions warned of the imminent threat of a major fire event with fuel loads dry and prime for burning. It would only take one careless person to ignite a monster.
“All the hard work, artisan hand-crafted and built with love; a vision of sustainable independence for my future…gone in a matter of hours. Would it happen again? Could anyone go through that twice?”
To say I was feeling anxious was an understatement.
Pure dread was creeping in. We packed our go-bags, moved any left-over fire wood away from the house, and monitored the Watch Duty app diligently. Then it happened, again. The Watch Duty alert went off. A fire had ignited 10 miles from my home.
Helicopters circled, planes flew low, and panic attempted to take over my body. Flight, fight, and freeze response made its way through my family. I froze. I went to my bedroom and laid in my bed—I couldn’t move. We have been through this before, but this time was different. Two years ago it started like this and ended with my family losing our off-grid homestead that we had built by hand over the previous 12 years. Poof, gone.
All the hard work, artisan hand-crafted and built with love; a vision of sustainable independence for my future…gone in a matter of hours. Would it happen again? Could anyone go through that twice? All of this went through my mind as I lay frozen in my bed.
I began to take slow, measured breaths. It was the only thing I could think to do. Slow down, focus on my breath, and snap out of this frozen state. My family needed me. I began to do the “box” breathing technique one of my Yoga teachers had taught me. Inhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, repeat. I did this for 5 minutes thinking only of my breath. It worked! I was able to get up and not let the panic take over. I turned on my favorite radio station, KPIG, and continued breathing to the beat of music. After 10 minutes or so I felt like I could be there for my family and face whatever was to come.
We packed up and got out of there. Heading to our happy place, Santa Cruz, we were distracted by the cool temps, good friends, and an inviting beach. I kept watch on the progress of the fire at home and was so thankful to have gotten my kids away from the traumatic fire scene. We talked about what could be back home and I reassured them that whatever happened we could deal with, after all we have done it before. We are resilient and can do hard things.
I knew I was going to need to continue doing my breath work and included my kids in the exercises. It has helped immensely. I also sought out one of my favorite massage therapists to give me a healing session. For 90 minutes, I was nurtured into relaxation and acceptance with an Esalen-style massage including Himalayan salt and Jade stones. Supporting myself in turn was supporting my family. I was present, unfrozen and able to make the right choices for us all.
“Breath is one of the primal actions our bodies perform unconsciously. When we bring this into our consciousness, we can take control of situations that feel out of control.”
Holistic health care and practices encompass body, mind, and spirit. If your mind is not right, your body cannot function. If your spirit is stifled your mind cannot guide you in a positive direction. Touch therapy is a powerful healer. Our bodies need it, and babies will die with out it. Being cared for and in a safe space allows our mind and spirit to be resilient and face hard things. Investing in our personal wellbeing is investing in the wellbeing of our children and loved ones.
Breath is one of the primal actions our bodies perform unconsciously. When we bring this into our consciousness, we can take control of situations that feel out of control. Simple actions like breath work, Yoga, and Massage Therapy can bring us resiliency and the ability to face hard situations in life.
MEET BRIEANN
Brieann Powell is Balanced Rock’s Program Support Coordinator and a licensed Clinical Massage Therapist in Mariposa, CA.
Currently, Brieann lives with her husband and two children on their off the grid, solar powered sustainable homestead in the Sierra foothills, and passionately advocates for all things free and wild. Read her full bio here.